Post by datguybleach on Nov 4, 2012 8:38:41 GMT -6
So after some thinking and advice from people on the site, I rewrote the opening to the story I posted before. It will have the same elements as the old one but I am putting more heart into it. Hope you enjoy as I will try to write a chapter a day at least.
Pokemon: Redemption
Prologue
Sunnyshore City, Sinnoh Region
March 18, 2006
Elliot could hear the water crashing against the rocks as he enters his home. He was near the body of water that trainers needed to cross to reach Victory Road. Smiling to himself, he was happy with his life. A young gym leader in an up and coming city and was the last test for trainers hoping to get a shot at the Pokemon league. Away for a while due to the fact he was picking out a place to get married in Kanto. That’s right. At the age of 18, this young man was getting married to the most beautiful girl in all the regions, Rose. He didn’t know if his life could get any better. As he heads for his kitchen, he notices a shadowy figure in his living room, sitting in a chair, his favorite chair. “Elliot. Please have a seat. The show is about to start.” The figure pointed to a chair in the room. Elliot stared coldly at the figure. “How did you get in? What are you doing here?” The figure laughed. “Becoming a gym leader didn’t change you one bit. Sit down my friend.” Elliot hears the buzz from the TV. He recognizes the voice. It’s Kris Fuller of Channel 19 news.
“We are live in front of the Sunnyshore Gym where a horrible crime has taken place. A body along with four pokemon has been found, brutally murdered. According to the local police, the body is a young female and the pokemon are Butterfree, Arbok, Staraptor and Absol. The bodies have been here for quite a while now. The id of the female is not being released yet. Right now the police are looking for Elliot, the young leader of this gym. Police ask if you see him, call them. They really need to find him. Kris Fuller, Channel 19 news.”
Elliot felt his legs give way as he falls to the ground. He shook his head and his fist hits the ground. Someone murdered at my gym? Why? He turns over to the figure in the chair. “You! Tell me what’s going on?!” As Elliot hops to his feet and rushes the figure, he felt a blow to the back of the head and crumbles over in pain. Placing his hand on his head and retracting it, he notices blood. He looks up to see a familiar face. “Never left the group behind Elliot. That was the rules. You know what happens to people that leaves the group. The boss however felt you needed to be teach a harsher lesson and thanks to your lack of faith in the group and him, you got that poor girl and her pokemon killed. Congrats gym leader or should I say former gym leader?” Both figures start to laugh then gone. Nothing was there. Just Elliot on the ground, bleeding on his own carpet. As he sat there, he tears up. That poor girl, her pokemon. They didn’t do anything. He can hear footsteps. Didn’t matter. If it was the police, let them take him away. At this point, he was the only suspect. It was his gym and people will figure he is the only one with access to it. The bastards set him up good. The footsteps were getting closer. He told himself if he could get another shot at them and the boss, he would make them pay for their crime and bring them to justice. The footsteps are there. “My young man, can’t you see? You have a destiny. To stop the group that has your life, unfold. Your story has just begun to be told.” Elliot couldn’t make sense of the voice. He was getting weaker and soon he faded into the darkness.
Pokemon: Redemption
Prologue
Sunnyshore City, Sinnoh Region
March 18, 2006
Elliot could hear the water crashing against the rocks as he enters his home. He was near the body of water that trainers needed to cross to reach Victory Road. Smiling to himself, he was happy with his life. A young gym leader in an up and coming city and was the last test for trainers hoping to get a shot at the Pokemon league. Away for a while due to the fact he was picking out a place to get married in Kanto. That’s right. At the age of 18, this young man was getting married to the most beautiful girl in all the regions, Rose. He didn’t know if his life could get any better. As he heads for his kitchen, he notices a shadowy figure in his living room, sitting in a chair, his favorite chair. “Elliot. Please have a seat. The show is about to start.” The figure pointed to a chair in the room. Elliot stared coldly at the figure. “How did you get in? What are you doing here?” The figure laughed. “Becoming a gym leader didn’t change you one bit. Sit down my friend.” Elliot hears the buzz from the TV. He recognizes the voice. It’s Kris Fuller of Channel 19 news.
“We are live in front of the Sunnyshore Gym where a horrible crime has taken place. A body along with four pokemon has been found, brutally murdered. According to the local police, the body is a young female and the pokemon are Butterfree, Arbok, Staraptor and Absol. The bodies have been here for quite a while now. The id of the female is not being released yet. Right now the police are looking for Elliot, the young leader of this gym. Police ask if you see him, call them. They really need to find him. Kris Fuller, Channel 19 news.”
Elliot felt his legs give way as he falls to the ground. He shook his head and his fist hits the ground. Someone murdered at my gym? Why? He turns over to the figure in the chair. “You! Tell me what’s going on?!” As Elliot hops to his feet and rushes the figure, he felt a blow to the back of the head and crumbles over in pain. Placing his hand on his head and retracting it, he notices blood. He looks up to see a familiar face. “Never left the group behind Elliot. That was the rules. You know what happens to people that leaves the group. The boss however felt you needed to be teach a harsher lesson and thanks to your lack of faith in the group and him, you got that poor girl and her pokemon killed. Congrats gym leader or should I say former gym leader?” Both figures start to laugh then gone. Nothing was there. Just Elliot on the ground, bleeding on his own carpet. As he sat there, he tears up. That poor girl, her pokemon. They didn’t do anything. He can hear footsteps. Didn’t matter. If it was the police, let them take him away. At this point, he was the only suspect. It was his gym and people will figure he is the only one with access to it. The bastards set him up good. The footsteps were getting closer. He told himself if he could get another shot at them and the boss, he would make them pay for their crime and bring them to justice. The footsteps are there. “My young man, can’t you see? You have a destiny. To stop the group that has your life, unfold. Your story has just begun to be told.” Elliot couldn’t make sense of the voice. He was getting weaker and soon he faded into the darkness.